Fairness is a loaded word in our house lately. "She has that and I don't!" "Where did he get that." Even the ones who speak little English seem to know these terms well in our house, and if the proper answer doesn't flow out of mine or Bryan's mouth a full out pout always follows. The proper answer meaning I need to have the same thing b/c it's not fair if I don't. What the kids have regularly been hearing is that
Fair doesn't mean the same thing for everyone. Fair means everyone getting what they need. Needless to say they are all less pleased with that answer.
Today we spent the morning outside doing some things that really needed to be done such as cleaning up the garage and getting the landscape in the front yard ready for winter. It was like pulling teeth to get our American bread 6 year old to help do anything. The two Ethiopian bread babes were thrilled to chip in but the minute they realized that the one wasn't doing as much (and by the way we were working on that... remember I said like pulling teeth) it became a matchness in fairness and before long it was all we could do to get any of them to participate.
As I moved through the work that needed to get done I finally gave up the repetative begging for the kids to help and just finished the work. When finished I was furious. Mostly at the selfishness that bled out of my children and at an American society that always has to be fair. EQUALITY! Isn't that just like us Americans. We want what the other has and when we want it.... be it time, things, or rights. And, if it isn't just the like person across from us then heavens forbid we feel like we got the raw end of the deal and we feel an entitlement to blurt it out to the world.
It is a daugnting task to try and raise responsible children in such a selfish America so I want to know how you are doing it. Share your ideas with me! Leave a comment and let me know some of the things you are doing or have done. When I get your responses I will compile them and share in a post!